By Yuna Kha
Growing up, being alone was normal. I always thought that I was too much or not enough. If I was “too Hmong,” then I faced more racism from strangers. If I wasn’t Hmong enough, then my parents would say I am rejecting my history and my people. During college, I came out more publicly as Queer and Transgender. Although you’d think I was “more free to be me” it was the exact opposite. I was, yet again, boxed as too Queer and Trans for talking about my experiences or not Queer and Trans enough because I did not speak out about my experiences. When I tried to speak out about this, I was immediately shut down or no one cared to listen. I learned to isolate myself because it was easier than to deal with people not caring.
Frustrated with isolating myself, I got into organizing work, especially those that centered on identities. Through organizing, I found my community and passion. We’d organize at our university to be as inclusive, diverse, and as equitable as possible. We would meet with administrators . As I am leaving college, I am reflecting on my college experience to find if other people have done similarly as well.
When I interviewed Amy and Nat, I specifically asked questions about how they had combat isolation through identity organizing. To me, their interviews mean so much to me because they remind me that I am not alone with my experience. I want to honor them by writing their stories in a blog with hope that future organizers would understand that there’s many ways to get into organizing and that organizing are spaces of home and love.
However, like them, COVID-19 has caused organizing work to be very difficult to navigate. Because part of my organizing work is trying to end being isolated because of identities, COVID-19 does the exact opposite: it forces you to separate physically. Meeting up with one another could not happen; we were forced to put a pause on our plans and even had to cancel projects and events
This physical separation made isolating myself easier. After a while, isolation caused a bigger problem for me because I was forgetting major events in my life. After a while, my life became immersed in what was in front of me. Support from other people felt like empty words and I started to distrust people.
However, despite this, one of the biggest lessons I learned during COVID-19 is that being alone is part of our growth and different from isolation. Isolation, to me, means forcefully separated and neglected. Alone, to me, means taking time away in order to come back. I was taught when I was younger that I deserved to be isolated from people because I was Queer, Trans, and Hmong. However because of organizing, I learned that it’s crucial that my alone time is for personal growth and self love.
Although I rely more heavily on technology to meet up with friends to organize, I find that once we make that time, we grow closer than ever before because we all agree that meeting with one another gives each other hope that we will see each other soon. We cannot organize like how we used to, but we are learning that we can organize in new ways that we have not thought about before.
I do hope that if/when COVID-19 were to ever end, that it’ll give us a new outlook on how we think about working or organizing from home. From here on out, I hope we all consider and advocate for working or organizing from our home as an option because it is inclusive. Organizing is different for everyone and we should allow any and all forms of organizing to be authentic and as true as possible. We should think more about the people than profit, especially during COVID-19.
This is why organizing is so important. Because of identity organizing, we were able to push for things such as defunding police violence into community safety. I was able to find community, build stronger relationships with family and friends, and learned more about my passions. Even during COVID-19, organizing connects me with loved ones and we are learning new ways to organize.
Before this Blog ends, I would like to personally give thanks to my summer cohort Emily and Kieu My who helped me write this and the rest for giving me ideas and support. I would also like to give thanks to the staff of AAOP Leyen and Vang Xor who guided me through it all. Then I would like to give thanks to both Amy and Nat who allowed me to share their learnings to the world. Last but not least, my family who was always there to support me.
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About the Writer
Yuna (they/them) is part of the Creative Track as a 2020 Summer Organizing Fellow at AAOP. They are a second generation Hmong American raised in North Side Minneapolis. Yuna is on their last semester of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and a minor in Critical Hmong Studies. They have fought for the Critical Hmong Studies program on their campus and served on committees to advocate for equity, diversity, and inclusivity for queer and trans people of color. They want their communities to be able to get correct information, resources, and know their worth. Yuna is looking forward to meeting the AAOP community and to work with everyone on goals rooted in cultural, feminist, and queer understanding. Outside of organizing, Yuna loves to play Sims 4 and spending time with family.
Contact: carterkha16@gmail.com
