The 2020 Gender Justice Research Cohort Queer Allyship team interviewed Asian-identifying community members, both queer and not, to better understand how queer allies can learn and be more as a queer ally.
The research team includes: Haruka Yukioka, Selena Vue, and Siena Iwasaki Milbauer
Download the full PDF Report here.
Image Descriptions:
The text “how do I become a better ally?” typed into a search bar with a magnifying glass on the right. The AAOP logo, which reads “Asian American Organizing Project” in blue and white, is in the lower right corner. The background is a faded inclusive rainbow flag with black and brown stripes at the top.
- listen to queer and trans people. We are the experts on our own lives, struggles, and identities. You can learn so much just by listening to what LGBTQ+ people share. Understand your positionality as an ally and center the voices of queer and trans people. Don’t speak over folks or co-opt the conversation-just listen, validate, and ask how you can support them (and then take action!)
- be supportive. Being queer and trans in this world is hard, and your support can make a big difference. Every person is different so make sure to ask what kinds of support work for them. Start by listening to people when they talk to you about their experiences. Maintain confidentiality — outing people can be a huge safety issue. Be willing to advocate for them if they ask you to do so. Check in every so often to make sure that your actions feel supportive and helpful for them.
- educate yourself. Do not automatically expect LGBTQ+ people to teach you — we’re not encyclopedias! Becoming familiar with different definitions is a great starting point, as well as learning what you should and shouldn’t say. Doing this research yourself shows queer and trans folks around you that you are willing to take the load off of marginalized people. It’s okay to ask a LGBTQ+ person a question, but try researching or asking other allies first. Make sure to ask permission, and don’t become upset or angry if they say no.
- educate others. Once you have listened to queer and trans people, started doing your own research, and feel fairly confident in your knowledge, start educating others. Many cisgender and heterosexual folks are more willing to listen to allies than LGBTQ+ people, so you have an important role to play! Use your social media to spread informative posts and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. Try to answer questions that other allies might have. If you hear someone use a slur or make an ignorant or hurtful comment, let them know. And on that note…
- intervene in the moment. When LGBTQ+ folks hear a homophobic/transphobic comment, it causes many of us to feel distress, fear, and sadness. It’s crucial for allies to step in and intervene, because odds are that it is safer for an ally to speak up than a queer or trans person. Otherwise, your silence in that moment signifies that you are complicit in our oppression, and LGBTQ+ people will not be able to count on you. Speak up even if you don’t think there are queer or trans people present — it shows people around you that you will not tolerate oppresive behavior.
- take responsibility when you mess up. None of us are perfect, and we will all make mistakes no matter how hard we try. When someone calls you out, set any defensiveness or shame aside, and truly listen to what they are saying. Don’t overly apologize or spiral into self-hate: this forces LGBTQ+ people to set their pain aside to comfort you. For many people, taking the time and energy to call someone out is a labor of love, and so is apologizing and taking accountability for the harm you’ve perpetuated. You’ll become a better ally for it.
- normalize using pronouns. Pronouns are important for everyone, regardless of whether you are cisgender/cis (identify with the gender you were assigned at birth) or transgender/trans (do not identify with the gender you were assigned at birth). Make a habit of introducing yourself with your pronouns and asking others what their pronouns are. Add your pronouns to your social media or email signature. These acts set an example for the people around you and show queer and trans people that you are an ally in all areas of your life.
- show up. A big part of allyship is showing up and taking action. We all have different abilities and commitments, so show up in a way that works for you! If you can go to protests and events, do so. Donate to LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations and contribute to personal fundraisers for queer and trans people. Pay attention to policies and legislation that impacts the community, and contact lawmakers. Avoid patronizing businesses that have harmful practices, like Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-A. Make sure you practice what you preach!
- commit to long-term allyship. Allyship is a journey. Undoing societal homophobia and transphobia is a lifelong journey, and we owe it to each other to continue learning and growing. Continue to challenge your own assumptions and biases, and engage those around you in conversations about LGBTQ+ acceptance and advocacy. Keep following LGBTQ+ leaders and content creators. LGBTQ+ people will continue to fight for our rights and acceptance, and we are counting on you to be there with us.
How do I become a better queer ally?