Virtual Event Recap: APIDA SPEAKS “Demystifying Sex and Unlearning”

Writer: Siena Iwasaki Milbauer

It can be hard to feel part of community when you can’t physically be in community. However, organizations are stepping up to provide opportunities to connect virtually. To celebrate the wealth of online events out there, and to make content from these events accessible to folks who may not be able to virtually attend, AAOP is recapping 1-3 online opportunities each month! You can see our past and future recaps at http://aaopmn.org/tag/virtual-event-recap/ 

CW: This blog contains discussion of imperialism, war, displacement, and related traumas. There are additionally mentions of gender-based violence and other harmful impacts caused by hetero-patriarchy, misogyny, and homophobia. 

We at AAOP are proud to present APIDA SPEAKS (Sex-Positive Education and Knowledge Sharing). APIDA SPEAKS is a series of 4 workshops, happening every Saturday 12-2pm CT in April. Each session will provide a culturally-sensitive and queer-inclusive space for APIDA (Asian Pacific Islander Desi American) folks to learn about and discuss different sexual health and sexual education topics. 

APIDA SPEAKS kicked off on April 3, with the opening workshop “Demystifying Sex and Unlearning”. AAOP Gender Justice interns Anne (she/her) and Savanna (she/they) led the session, which focused on the reasons why sex is such a taboo topic in many of our APIDA communitites.

It is often overlooked that some sexually unhealthy ideas and attitudes in APIDA communities can be traced back to our histories of displacement, trauma, and struggle. Many of our APIDA families came to the United States in less than ideal circumstances, some fleeing the violent effects of imperialism. When they arrived in America, a good number of our APIDA ancestors experienced cultural and language barriers, racist and xenophobic discrimination, and assimilation-related stresses. 

All of these factors go a long way to explaining why historically, sexual health and pleasure hasn’t been prioritized in many APIDA communities.

Trauma impacts our families in ongoing and generational ways, creating environments where there is little to no space to prioritize our personal wellness, including sexual wellness. 

One important thing to recognize is that hetero-patriarchy, misogyny, and homophobia are not inherent to our APIDA cultures, no matter what certain Western sources may have tried to tell you. In fact, many of our heritage traditions are sex-positive and queer-inclusive. For example, numerous Asian deities are glorified for their sexual liberation, and many Asian cultures have ancient and venerated sex-positive traditions. 

Of course, like all cultures across the globe, Asian cultures have to contend with issues of gender inequality. It is fair to say that in our APIDA communities, some of those challenges have been exacerbated by our histories of trauma. This has resulted in painful manifestations of hetero-patriarchy and misogyny, including gender-based violence, limiting gender roles and expectations, queer erasure, and hyper-sexualization and/or emasculation under the white gaze. 

APIDA SPEAKS “Demystifying Sex and Unlearning” provided a space to learn about this context for our communities’ attitudes towards gender and sexuality. The workshop also gave APIDA folks a space to discuss these issues among a supportive group of peers. When asked for their takeaways from the event, several participants noted that they felt seen, heard, and validated. 

The topics discussed in APIDA SPEAKS “Demystifying Sex and Unlearning” are things that so many APIDA folks experience in deeply personal and impactful ways. But because these issues are so infrequently discussed, it can be easy for individuals to feel isolated and even gaslit in their experiences. That’s why it is so important to start de-stigmatizing conversations about sex, and to create spaces like APIDA SPEAKS that can help us to learn, connect, heal, and build sex-positivity together. 

Please join us for the next three workshops of APIDA SPEAKS! 

-2) Boundaries, Consent and Relationships (with Transforming Generations)

-3) Sex Positivity and Self Care (with Planned Parenthood)

-4) Reproductive Justice Advocacy (with Our Justice)

Learn more about APIDA SPEAKS and register here

Special thanks to our amazing Gender Justice interns Anne Hall and Savanna Thao for creating and leading APIDA SPEAKS!

Photo Credits: AAOP